Alone Time

It's 1:45 a.m. and I am up waiting for my images to upload to an album that I am making for Brittany's wedding. What am I doing up at this hour you ask? I'm enjoying the silence and I just haven't been able to part with it just yet. Silence and I have been strangers as of late. Now before you get too excited, thinking that I have been relishing in silence for the past four or five hours, think again. I just tucked Rachel back in bed after a bad dream (this happens at least four times a week) and I also just put Claire in her crib. I have really been thinking a lot lately about my role as a Mother. I have all of these high hopes that I will be gentle and kind and nurturing and other such adjectives that we often hear to describe Mothers. Instead I feel irritable, moody, grouchy, bossy, etc. I renew my goal each night to become more "Mothering" only to renew my goal again the next night feeling a little discouraged. The truth is, it just gets too loud around here and my nerves just get a little too sensitive. I want to be patient, I really do, but when it is 5:30 and I am preparing dinner to the sounds of children thudding through the kitchen and squealing at the top of their lungs, laughing hysterically (which is cute but also strangely annoying). I love that they are having a good time and enjoying “their chother” as Audrey would say, but I just can't remember if I put in one cup or two. That is when my blood starts to simmer and then turns into a slow boil. I want to tell the kids to "BE QUIET!" but what do I expect them to do? Sit and fold their arms on the couch - then I would really be worried! I read all of these lovely quotes about not caring about your house and playing with your children, enjoying their childhood, seeing things through their eyes. When you are knee deep in laundry (did I say knee deep? I meant head high) and there is clutter in every corner how do you turn a blind eye??!! I have good intentions. Tonight I was prepared to read stories and play with their hair, sing songs and lull them off to sleep. One whine after another whimper; "I have to go to the bathroom!" "I need a drink." “I’m hot.” “I don’t have any space.” and what happened to my good intentions I ask as I all but slam the door shut on my way out. These are my babies. I love them, each and every one. There is not enough me to go around. So, here I am, at 1:59, alone in my office, relishing in silence, preparing to be a Mother tomorrow.

Fairy Princess Party

Rachel Bee turns five! Here is the elegent table setting.

The fairy princesses


The princesses played "fairy, Fairy, Troll."








Rachel and I worked hard to create this fairy cake.

Rachel did all of the buttons on her dress. (She would have liked to have done the entire thing herself)

The party favorite was the fairy freeze game. We turned on music and the fairies danced until the music turned off and they had to freeze. Anyone who moved after the music went off was out. It was a hit!


The beautiful birthday girl.



And her gorgeous big sister.

Could her little body get any cuter??

Rachel opening her gifts - the most anticipated event.

I hate the flash! But, what a pretty little baby. (I am a little bias)

I love this picture but blogger doesn't want to let it turn the right direction. (I tried everything!)

This may be random but as I was looking for fairies to color, this fairy looked just like my little sister Brittany! I give you . . . the Brittany Fairy!

Beautiful Weather = Perfect Day

Today was the perfect day! I woke up, dropped Audrey off at the bus, worked out, showered and got everyone dressed, ready, fead, nursed, packed lunches, and made it to story time at 10:30!!! Yeah for me! (I have to pat myself on the back for things like this!) After story time we went to the park and had a wonderful time with friends eating, talking, and enjoying the gorgeous weather. It was my favorite, breazy, a cool 75 degrees, the sun was shining! I am really enjoying my life this passed few weeks. Things are getting back to normal and it feels great just to be a Mom. I finally feel like I can wake up and say, "what do I want to do today?" I can't say that my house is clean or that my laundry is done but I am taking the time to smell the roses and loving it!

Rennie Roo

claire


Hate to bring this up but can I just say how grateful I am to have this little girl in my life, happy, healthy, and fully recovered. Not to mention, check out those beautiful lips! Would you ever believe that she was born with a cleft lip!

The famous Jenny


Two peas in a pod.


Spencer - look at those baby blues.

My good friend Stacie and her little Shayla

The kids played so well together. It was one of those perfect park days that rarely happen! Then a GIANT swarm of bees flew overhead and we ran for our minivans!!